Friendship

We had someone visit once who saw two children wrestling and while separating them said, “we don’t put our hands on each other.” That didn’t sit right with me, but I didn’t know why at the time. I don’t like poking with sticks. I don’t like hurt feelings or injury, but some wrestling among friends seems appropriate. I don’t hold a strict line on what touching is okay and what isn’t, so I’ve sort of kept quiet. Announcing that we allow physical contact seemed unwise.

I’ve thought of making a list of what you won’t hear at Duara with “we don’t put our hands on each other” second to “no, you can’t go to the bathroom.” Now, I have heard “please don’t pee on the tree,” but I have yet to understand why anyone should be told they cannot use the bathroom.

Anyway, I finally realized last week, as I watched two boys with their arms around each other, the reason this phrase did not sit well with me.

It is not because I want to have physical fighting. It is because I want to encourage love which is often quietly expressed through touch. A hand on a back, arms wrapped around, removing a bug, holding a hand, a fist bump, fixing someone’s hair, carrying someone, a high five, and a hug are all declarations of care and friendship that we hope to stir up.